I Know You're Broken
by everfaraway
Summary: "Do you know what it's like to be unmade? To have someone take your brain... and play?" "You know that I do." Just after the war in New York, Tasha wakes up with nightmares of her conversation with Loki. Who else is there to comfort her but Clint. Contains movie spoilers. Sorry for OOC-ness. T rating for safety. Dedicated to my archer: Grey


I Know You're Broken

(Inspired by Katalizi's Video)

**_Author: Fanfiction took down my 7 Things I Hate About You. Grr. Anyways this fic is inspired by an amazing Clint/Tasha  
tribute vid called I Know You're Broken on yutube by Katalizi. I have watched that video many many times and love it.  
I own none of the Avengers, sadly. Nor do I own "Louder than Ever" by Daughtry (which is what Clint is singing)_**

"_I won't touch Barton. Not until I make him kill you. Slowly, intimately, in every way he knows you fear."_

Natasha's eyes snapped open but she didn't dare move until she knew right where she was. Her eyes rolled up the skylight high above her, squinting against the bright early morning sun streaming in. Slowly she glanced around the room: dark green curtains over the windows, dark brown wallpaper throughout the room, deep caramel sheets on the bed and white sherpa throw at the foot of it. She was in Clint's apartment which had survived the attack while hers had not. It was a penthouse: bright, airy and high above the rest of the world, just like Clint loved. The penthouse was leased under a false name, Jason Williams, to allow him to live without fear of people figuring out who he really was, just the way she loved to live.

She had woken up with Loki's voice in her mind, as if he had whispered directly into her ear. "Bastard." she muttered as Clint's voice carried from out of the bathroom.

"Heard that song on the radio and it got my gears turning, like a real live time machine. You were there in the front seat. Windows down, we were burning. It's just like a movie scene. Those dashboard lights and your pale blue eyes cutting through me."

She buried her face into Clint's pillow as she allowed the sound of the shower and the archer's singing to lull her back to sleep.

"_And then he'll wake just long enough to see his good work and when he screams, I'll split his skull."_

She jerked awake and sat up quickly. Her back hit the headboard as she wrapped herself in a blanket and pulled a gun from under the bed. Clint kept it there for his comfort while he kept a knife under a pillow for her comfort. Tear slid down her face as she sat there, shivering like a terrified child. When the bathroom door opened, she jerked the gun in that direction.

Clint stepped out of his bathroom, humming softly. It took his ears a moment longer to register the whimpers than it took his eyes to register Natasha sitting on his bed wrapped in his blankets with a gun pointed at him. "Tasha? Baby?" he asked.

"Nightmare." Tasha whispered, setting the gun down on the bedside table. Slowly he sat down beside her on the bed. He didn't dare touch her, not when her body language screamed that she wouldn't be okay with that. Slowly she looked at him and he stared into her eyes, reading her silently.

"What did Loki do you?" he whispered. He had asked her the same thing after he had woken up and found out how she had brought him back. She hadn't been honest with him then and he knew. "What did Loki do to you Tasha?" he asked, gently stroking her hair.

"He knew about Gregovitch... the hospital fire. He said you had told him everything." Tasha whimpered.

Clint cringed inwardly and said, "Not by choice. He raped my mind, corrupted my memories: the good and the bad. I fought him but my attacks didn't do anything to him. I tried to defend myself against his control but he picked apart my defenses bit by bit. There were a few things that he didn't find out."

Tasha crawled into his lap and whispered, "I asked him what he was going to do to you. He said he wasn't going to touch you, not until he had you kill me. Slowly... intimately... in every single way you knew I would fear. Then he'd let you wake up just long enough to see my dying. He said that when you screamed, he'd split your skull." Tears stung the corners of her eyes.

Clint held her close, shivering at the thought of killing her. Despite himself, his mind began considering all the ways he could do just that. He shook his head to dispell those thoughts and pulled away to sit on the edge of the bed. "He said that because he knew that I could." he admitted softly.

"But you won't." she said, wrapping her arms around his neck and leaning against his back. In her silky night gown instead of her black leather cat suit, she was soft and felt small against him even though there was only a couple of inches of height difference between them. Weight difference was another thing entirely.

"But I can... words can't change that. And then... I would have." he muttered.

Gently she kissed one of the small cuts on his shoulders, one of many more like it. After Thor had helped him out of the window he had gone through and up to the penthouse in Stark Tower, she had worked with tweezers to pull every shard of glass from his skin. Going through the window had not been one of his best ideas, especially without sleeves. "I know you're broken Clint." she whispered.

"Tasha." he breathed as her cheek rested between his shoulder blades. Her breath was warm and gentle against his skin, which was steadily cooling thanks to the breeze coming in through open windows.

"But so am I." A tear slid down her face and continued it's way down his back, following the line of his spine.

They sat in silence for several long moments before Clint crawled back onto the bed. Tasha slid underneath him, running her fingertips through his hair as his fingers trailed down her side. "We're only human Nat." he whispered, gently kissing the tear trails on her cheeks away.

"Before I would have said that we needed to be more." she told him as he buried his face in the crook of her neck.

"But?" he asked, sensing the unspoken portion of her sentence.

"With all the crazy shit that's happened lately... being human is fine with me." she smiled, looking down at him as he gently touched her split lip and the bruise at her temple.

Gently Clint kissed her stomach through her gown before resting his head against her stomach. She ran her hands through his hair and he playfully nipped her wrist. "Are we going to see off Thor?" he asked.

"Do you want to?" she inquired.

"Yeah... I guess. It would kinda be a dick move not to after everything we've been through." he said.

"Which means you need to let me go get dressed." Tasha told him. Clint considered saying something snarky but he decided against it. He could be a smart ass when he wanted to be but now didn't feel like the time. Instead he sat up to let her go get dressed and stepped into his closest.

The goodbyes were quiet, hand shakes were exchanged and Thor promised to visit if he could. Loki looked up, glancing at the group surrounding him. His gaze lingered on Clint, who glared at him from behind shades.

"I tried to get Steve and Thor to let you put an arrow in his eye socket. But Thor refused and Steve said you needed a damn good reason before he let you do so." Tasha whispered, touching her shoulder to his.

"It's okay. I got tickets for a flight to Paris at five pm, first class." Clint told her in Russian.

"Very nice." she smiled.

"And tickets to Cirque du Soleil." he added.

Tasha smiled and whispered, "Happy anniversary baby." Clint couldn't keep the smile off his face. After everything that had happened lately, it was going to be nice to get to go to Paris with his wife and spend their anniversary without SHIELD breathing down their necks.

**_Author: Dedicated to Grey, Hawkeye to my Black Widow. If Clint & Tasha existed in our world, we'd be them._**


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